Sausage rolls
Ok. So I’m not 100% sure about the euphemistic power of the words ’sausage rolls’ and take this shirt absolutely literally because it comes from Aberdeen, Scotland. It already says ’sex and drugs’ so the scope for euphemistic flexibility is limited. I’m pretty sure it actually means a sausage pastry.
If you’ve ever been to Aberdeen you’ll know that in addition to claiming to be the oil capital of Europe, it also has reasonable claim to be the sausage roll capital of Europe. Not on quality grounds - far from it - but on grounds of consumption. In the early naughties the fine Aberdonians decided that the rowie / buttery was an inappropriate breakfast snack due to its high fat and salt content (quick recipe - one cup salt, one cup lard, one cup butter, half cup flour, water to mix = rowie mix).
So they replaced it with sausage rolls. Every morning across Aberdeenshire white vans approach newsagents, the youngest passenger jumps out and says “2 suns, a star, 2 rowies and 4 sausage rolls”*. If they smoke they also get some smokes. But this is new healthy Aberdeen we’re talking about - so only about 80% of them smoke.
Anyway - sweet shirt from Regal clothing in Aberdeen.
* these numbers will vary depending on number of people in the van.
$3 tee at chop shop
Chopshop are certainly hitting the mark with the rocker tees. (btw - Need to kill time at your desk in the festive wind down? head over here…) But OMG is too cool to cover the big buzzy shirts in anything but oblique reference. In these financially constrained times OMG loves a cheapie! And $3 is cheap! But is it any good? Yes. Excellent! Go buy one then. OK!. Well done!
Fear not - terrible conversational style posts are a rarity!
not tee scale
You see what I did there. Ho ho ho. Festive punnery and word play. How tiresome - or maybe it’s not! Maybe you need some shirt based wordy fun. If so - Walkie Talkie seem to have some original shirts here. I say seem to because whenever I say ‘original designs’ some of you email me some prior art on a cafe press shop of a weird, similar theme.
Either way - I love these shirts. Not to scale shown below made me laugh - and this mint one seems particularly excellent as a Christmas day shirt. It’s like wearing a game of dingbats.
gender equality at last
For far too long the world of tshirt design, along with many of the other fine arts, has been bogged down by gender stereotypes and inflexibility. A scientist hell bent on decimating the world cat population you say? Must be Male. A scientist researching some esoteric property of DNA which could stop the zombies getting us? Must be female. And hot.
Luckily for us when it comes to the moon, that most feminine of astral bodies, you can take your pick thanks in large part to wearscience.com and their innovative gender selector. I’m not talking the cut of the tee here - I’m talking the cut of the hair of the mad scientist ON the tee. Hurrah! Let the countown commence.
Great time to buy too because they are doing a ‘Just Call Me Santa‘ 20% off sale until the 15th. Coupon code: AMORPHIAROCKS
the man scientist
the lady scientist
(btw - reading that back I think I might just have overdone the coffee this morning…)
blanka outsized timecheck
I recall a short period in my early teens where my brain was SO bored with life that I could tell you the running time of any track I owned, I could tell you the attendance at any game for the past 3 or 4 weeks, I could tell you the two tracks that were adjacent to any track you named from any major compilation album released in the past 4 or 5 years. For two disc sets, the last track on one disc was ‘adjacent’ to the first track on the next disc for the purposes of this game.
This tee from blanka would have been perfect back then. Perfect.
I could list the ingredients in all readily available chocolate bars. I could give you the gear ratios of all the Muddy Fox bikes. Man! What a geek!
’tis the season to love gingers
Gotta love the gingers at Christmas. If you have a crimson haired wunderkid in your life, give them a laugh on Christmas morning by getting them this subtle shirt. It’s a redhead gag with a great payoff though - as the shirt looks great. Far better than some catherine tate joke shirt from cafepress. From the oddly named teeco “faqtap“.
paper swan
I love this shirt from uneetee for a simple, stupid reason that you actually need to look at it to see the joke. On a quick glance you just look like you like swans. Like one of those people with a pedigree dog that wear jumpers and fleece jackets with pictures of their dog on them.
Actually - that’s always bothered me. If I was the dog I’d be miffed that my ‘master’ had a picture of some OTHER dog on them all the time. Chances are it would be a prettier dog aswell - a model dog! Anyway - nice shirt.
bike is my castle
My bike kinda IS my castle. I can’t resist a bike tee - and I think nothing of spending money on new lights, new bottle hoops, new computers etc… and I love a good bike sticker. I haven’t started hanging lampshades on the lights - but hey - you never know… ad a bike pet sounds good. Not a fan of caged birds though - so I might get a gerbil or something to live in my bottle cage!
Great funny tee from Fair and Bare.
robit prepared
So if the zombies come huntin I think I’m ready. I’ve seen shaun of the dead, dead set, and read the monster island books. I know about the whole brains thing. I carry a swiss. I know my limits when it comes to jumping over fences. I avoid loose clothing which would catch on the fence. And my bike won’t run out of fuel.
Robit Studios have a nice pair of shirts tagged ‘prepare‘ with zombies and robots. I hope they continue the series. Complete the sim city list with earthquakes, tornadoes and floods. Then move on to the other impending doom sources - like GM tomatoes and athletes foot. A special one for those big worms in tremors. The possibilities are endless. A weeks worth of prepare shirts would be neat.
Get the zombie one here to encourage them!
grenade bunny
wow - these would be a cool weapon. The railway near me is covered with bunnies - hundreds of them. If you turned them all into grenades and could lure them to your enemy under cover of dark (they eat carrots - they must be good in the dark) - then wow - global domination.
bulldowzaah
Unique spellings are nice. Strange fake plastic toys are nice. Green tshirts are nice. What’s not to love here! aaitski
hayelp hayelp
This tee reminds me of the crooked old man with a crooked old house with a crooked old gate leading to his crooked old path past the crooked old tree to his crooked old door…. with a dash of penelope pitstop thrown in.
Added attraction of a 40% off sale going on at dying decade. Cheap AND good! Wow.
Oh - and the decapitated head isn’t meant to show the after effects of the passing train - I just felt sorry for the tshirt model that her head had been chopped off in my original crop of this tee.
sloth
I love sloths. I recall distinctly the first time I herd about sloths - and how lichen can grow on their backs they are so lazy. At the time I’d just discovered sim city - so the idea of sitting around playing sim city so long that I’d get lichen growing on me seemed appealing. What better way to spend a lifetime. [boys version here]
rhetorically speaking
These are some nice shirts - but you have to visit rhetoric just for the homepage. You know that rant I had earlier (apologies - I had drunk a LOT of coffee) about site design. This is how to do it right. The shop and the homepage just WORK without either feeling compromised.
Guys gun shirt, and girls credit card shirt - which is all the more appropriate now that we are in recession and all!
swiss army fork
Glennz is the man. Swiss army fork. Say no more.
Somehow the idea + execution is always bang on with Glennz. All other teecos take note - one kick ass tee like this on your homepage beats 80 half thought through and quickly sketched ideas.
science love
It’s no great secret that I’m a bit of a science geek. I enjoy nothing more than figuring out the orders of magnitude in scale difference between an ipod and a supernova or a bacteria and a clock. Even though, nuclear scares me, especially French nuclear on British soil. But hey - don’t worry be happy!
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